Girls are nothing but pain... Pure pain.

As a second grader, there’s nothing better than being chased by someone of the opposite sex. When saying chased, I literally mean, run after. The story begins with exactly that, a low-speed pursuit of a second grade boy.

I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was running away from two of the cutest girls that West Grade Elementary in Stanfield Oregon had to offer (not that there were many options for the small Podunk town I lived in).

All through the play ground they were chasing me. I would often alter my speed so that they would get the feeling that they were keeping up with me. I felt if I were to use all of my speed I would pull away and the pursuit would come to a sudden halt.

Not feeling any fatigue at all the chase went on. Some teasing and egging on by me to guarantee a continuing scamper through the field.

I can vividly remember looking north and seeing a group of my friends playing school yard football. Being young and thinking I was cool I wanted to take the girls on a run past my friends, to show them who was getting chased by girls. I ran by making as much noise as I could to ensure that I wouldn’t be missed. As my friends yelled, “RUN!!!! RUN!!!!” I continued on with more energy than ever.

After feeling the extra boost of energy from the support of my great second grade classmates, I decided to take the goose chase to the next level.

After I had lead them in and around any obstacle I could see. To my surprise they were hanging with me better than I ever thought they would! After a minute or two of a little extra fun, I then decided to stick the dagger in and get rid of them.

I saw in the distance the perfect way to lose them. A row of tractor tires sticking out of the ground. The bottom third was buried leaving the top two thirds sticking straight up out of the ground. I’ll never forget, the tires were painted orange and were bright and vivid.

A couple of weeks earlier I had found that I could hurdle them. That was the way I was going to get rid of them. There was no way they could be able to do the same.

With the tires in sight I went for it. I jumped in the air and felt higher than I’d ever been. Time seemed to be standing still as I was floating through the air. Until… A foot of a friend of the girls chasing me decided to reach out and sweep my legs out from under me. When your legs get kicked in mid-air, in naturally propels your face forward. And I was no exception.

I slammed into the tire nose first, fracturing it like it was a twig in the hands of a giant! Being the pansy that I was, I began to shed a couple of tears. The tears were mixed with an extreme amount of blood.

The nurse called my mother to come and get me. She took me to the hospital were I received treatment for my broken nose.

The time finally came for me to head home and begin my long and rigorous recovery. It was at that time that I spotted something on my doorstep. It looked to be a little book. As I walked closer, I realized it was a hand made book titled, “The Broken Nosed Apple.” Made and written by none other than the cutest girl in school. And one of the culprits that had been hot on my trail the whole recess.