Article 4

A semesters’ reward was paid off in two days for a Provo, Utah student, as he beats Assassins Creed on his Xbox in consecutive days.

As the commercial for Assassins Creed would grace the TV screen Steven “Beaver” Winder would tell everyone around to “shush” as he would zone in. Nothing else would matter while he was concentrating on the screen. The game appealed to him more than any other had since he was 12 years old.

You could see the pain in his face when it was released that the game would only be released on Microsoft’s Xbox, a system that Winder unfortunately didn’t own. But there are solutions to every problem thought Winder.

“I’m going to buy and Xbox and Assassins Creed, I’ll then beat the game as fast as I can and take the two right back,” Winder Said.

Though in his mind he had just come up with the most brilliant idea that had ever been thought there were still things that took the front seat over Nintendo.

Winder made the game a reward for finishing the semester. With one month left he cracked down and got to work. The semester could not have gone slower from the time he made the decision.

“It seemed like time stood still and it was killing me,” said Winder emphatically.

Finally the time came to buy the system and game. A short trip to Best Buy and a little over 300 dollars later he walked out of the store a new man. With a big smile on his face he and roommates began the drive to their apartment to begin the long waited game.

Upon arrival roommate and older brother Jordan Winder was waiting with a camera in hopes of documenting the joy of purchase.

“I’ve never seen a man so excited for a game. It was like Christmas had come a little early for him,” Jordan said.

The time had come to play. The system was hooked up and the game was running. Little did Winder know of the rough two days that were about to take place.

As the days went by all the roommates went on with normal life, but Winder never left his seat in front of the TV. He never seemed to eat, drink and most of all never slept.

After a day and a half Winder looked terrible. He had bags under his eyes, greasy hair, and a scent that couldn’t be missed.

“It was out of control. He became addicted faster than anyone or anything I’ve ever seen,” said roommate Jordan Edwards.

The hard work and becoming an addict didn’t last long. He beat the game in a little over two and a half days. During those two days Winder ate once and slept for a total of four hours.

He returned the system and sold the game to a friend for full price. When asked if he regretted the decision Winder stated that he didn’t at all.

“Regret it? Not for one second. Due to deteriorated health and sore thumbs I can say I don’t think I’d ever do it again though, that’s for sure,” said Winder.

“Whatever it takes for him to motivate himself through school I’m okay with,” said Arliss Winder, Stevens Mom.

Motivate him through school is exactly what it did. Winder got his grades back a week later. The motivation paid off as he got a 4.0.

My day...

The last time the Utah Jazz and the BYU Cougars played a basketball game in the same night very nearly became the worst night of all time.

The day started and I’ve never felt better. That only lasted for about thirty seconds. After I woke up and realized that my roommate had clogged the toilet the night before and still had yet to do anything about it my day began to take a slide for the worst.

I went to school and quickly realized that my class had been canceled. Therefore I made the trek to the beautiful campus of Utah Valley University. I then got back to my car and fired it up to head back home. No more than 20 seconds later as I was pulling into the street a small puppy ran in the road and made a car swerve in my direction. Not only did the car hit the puppy, bet me as well.

So a puppy’s life had just been taken and my car got hit by another vehicle trying to hit a puppy, which didn’t even happen. I then came to the realization that I drove there for nothing due to a canceled class, and then got in a wreck.

With all of the rage in the world I got out of my car. The first thing I saw when I got out of the car was a small stone on the road. I picked it up and threw it in anger. Not thinking straight I threw it in the direction of multiple parked cars. The stone cut through the air like a knife as it approached the window of a Range Rover. Do you think I had the luck of it missing the window? Surprisingly yes…. But it hit the door solid enough to make on hell of a dent. Which I still have not said anything to anyone about. If that was your black Range Rover with Nevada plates.. My apologies.

After everything there was cleared up I drove home to get ready for my intramural basketball game. We were undefeated to this point so I thought my day would get a little better. Boy was I wrong. We got beat by four and I almost punched some little pansy in the face. The man had the Napoleon Complex. You know.. When a small guy thinks he’s the greatest person to walk the earth. Ya, one of those.

After the game we came home to partake in a Jazz basketball game on TV. They were well on their way to losing. Being my favorite team I fell into a deeper depression than I’ve felt in years. As the final buzzer sounded I felt like I need not one Prozac, but an entire bottle.

I had one more hope and it was in the hands of the BYU Cougars. They were behind the entire game, but tied it up at the buzzer to go to overtime. The Cougars pulled it out and saved me from falling into a depression that I would never have been able to climb out of.

The Cougars play tonight in the first round of the NCAA Tournament and the Jazz play the Los Angeles Lakers. Tomorrow we play our first post season game in intramurals. This is the chance to redeem the worst day of my life and climb back on top. Though the puppy can’t be saved I’ve written the Utah Jazz and the BYU Cougars and asked them to dedicate tonight’s games to our long lost little friend.

Everything is this story was made up besides the basketball games. Anything that has to do with a sport is true. Anything that has to do with a puppy or car wrecks or missing class was a lie. Sorry.

Mo Freakin Rocca

I had expected it to be funny, but I never expected it to be that funny! Holy hell the man was off the chain! I know that term is typically used by rappers and hip-hop artists, but I couldn’t think of anything else I could say to get my point through.

He started out by talking about his career and what he had done to get where he is now. The whole time he did this he was throwing in amazing puns and great wit.

After sharing his credentials he admitted to the fact that he’s an expert at sounding like an expert. At first I decided that he could be right. Maybe he was just up to date and could BS through the rest to make it sound like he knew what he was talking about. As he went on I quickly retracted that thought.

The man is honestly one of the smartest men I have ever seen or heard in my life. He quickly showed that he was a legit analyst. He had the audience shout out countries and he would quickly reply with the capitol. He didn’t miss a single one of them.

He later had people ask him questions about former presidents. This is the part that I was most impressed with. He would ramble on and on with details of the chosen president. He would hit on details that no one should know without being the biggest stalker of creep in the entire world. Things like shoe size, pets names, favorite fruits, choices of gum, and the list could go on.

Another thing that impressed me is the ability he had to dodge questions and transition right into something that he wanted to talk about. That takes an extreme amount of talent. He is very well educated the art of public speaking.

I’d see him speak again any day of the week. I enjoyed being there and have to give him credit for putting so much effort into gaining the knowledge that he now has.

Article for class..

As a runner I notice quite often the quality of the air in the Utah Valley. It’s at this time of year that it’s the worst.

I didn’t think that it affected me that much until I started training for my next marathon.

I was on my normal daily run and for some reason I wasn’t able to run like I usually could. I couldn’t figure out why. I went over all of the options in my head. I had eaten well that day, I hadn’t been sick, it wasn’t that I was out of shape, and I wasn’t tired from a prior run.

So what could it have been? As I thought more of what it might be I realized that the Wasatch Mountains to the east were almost not even visible. I then started thinking about how bad the air is in the valley when there’s inversion.

It then hit me the reason that I felt I wasn’t running well. The air quality is terrible! I don’t know why I hadn’t thought if it before. What do I need to run well? Good air and lots of it. I wasn’t getting that. I was getting polluted air that was no good for me as a runner or anyone else breathing it no matter what they’re doing.

According to Time magazine in an article written on September 12, 2007 titled, Pollution: Dangerous to Joggers, “A recent U.S. study reported that exposure to polluted air boosts the risk of death from heart disease by 76%.”

This same thing has been a worry for athletes training for the upcoming Olympics in China. Athletes have been wondering if they should train in cities that the pollution is bad to get the upper hand. One athlete even joked as he asked his trainer if he should train while running behind a bus in the city.

A fellow runner from Utah Valley named Jake Summerson said that he’s experiencing the same problems and lack of energy that I’ve felt.

“I feel so great on clear days, it’s like I could go forever.” He later said, ”When I go to run and see the quality of the air or see it’s terribly smoggy outside I dread the run because I know I’m going to be short on energy.”

This is a common problem that people are experiencing. Studies have given us an insight on why that is.

While athletes are training they build up what’s called lactic acid. This is something that happens when athletes hit a certain threshold where the body doesn’t have enough oxygen. Lactic acid caused pain and burning in muscles and makes it hard to continue.

When the air is saturated with pollutants it makes it much harder to get oxygen, therefore the lactic acid begins to build much faster. This is where the feeling of no energy comes from.

I need peoples input...

I've been wanting to start a specialty blog. One that's not for school and is more focused on one thing. If there is anything anyone wants to hear about or thinks I should start to write my input on please let me know by leaving a comment.

Girls are nothing but pain... Pure pain.

As a second grader, there’s nothing better than being chased by someone of the opposite sex. When saying chased, I literally mean, run after. The story begins with exactly that, a low-speed pursuit of a second grade boy.

I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was running away from two of the cutest girls that West Grade Elementary in Stanfield Oregon had to offer (not that there were many options for the small Podunk town I lived in).

All through the play ground they were chasing me. I would often alter my speed so that they would get the feeling that they were keeping up with me. I felt if I were to use all of my speed I would pull away and the pursuit would come to a sudden halt.

Not feeling any fatigue at all the chase went on. Some teasing and egging on by me to guarantee a continuing scamper through the field.

I can vividly remember looking north and seeing a group of my friends playing school yard football. Being young and thinking I was cool I wanted to take the girls on a run past my friends, to show them who was getting chased by girls. I ran by making as much noise as I could to ensure that I wouldn’t be missed. As my friends yelled, “RUN!!!! RUN!!!!” I continued on with more energy than ever.

After feeling the extra boost of energy from the support of my great second grade classmates, I decided to take the goose chase to the next level.

After I had lead them in and around any obstacle I could see. To my surprise they were hanging with me better than I ever thought they would! After a minute or two of a little extra fun, I then decided to stick the dagger in and get rid of them.

I saw in the distance the perfect way to lose them. A row of tractor tires sticking out of the ground. The bottom third was buried leaving the top two thirds sticking straight up out of the ground. I’ll never forget, the tires were painted orange and were bright and vivid.

A couple of weeks earlier I had found that I could hurdle them. That was the way I was going to get rid of them. There was no way they could be able to do the same.

With the tires in sight I went for it. I jumped in the air and felt higher than I’d ever been. Time seemed to be standing still as I was floating through the air. Until… A foot of a friend of the girls chasing me decided to reach out and sweep my legs out from under me. When your legs get kicked in mid-air, in naturally propels your face forward. And I was no exception.

I slammed into the tire nose first, fracturing it like it was a twig in the hands of a giant! Being the pansy that I was, I began to shed a couple of tears. The tears were mixed with an extreme amount of blood.

The nurse called my mother to come and get me. She took me to the hospital were I received treatment for my broken nose.

The time finally came for me to head home and begin my long and rigorous recovery. It was at that time that I spotted something on my doorstep. It looked to be a little book. As I walked closer, I realized it was a hand made book titled, “The Broken Nosed Apple.” Made and written by none other than the cutest girl in school. And one of the culprits that had been hot on my trail the whole recess.

Clap on Clap off.. I Now Have the Clapper...

Clap on Clap off.. The Clapper. What a well known phrase that we have grown used to and laughed at for the past generation. The clapper had never come across to me as something that would shock me. I never thought of it as something that could catch me off guard. But one special day in the normally boring corridors at West Jordan High School changed what I went through every time that word was mentioned, regardless of context.

I can picture the situation perfectly in my head. I was walking down a main hall way. There were blue lockers on my left as the band and choir rooms were to my right. Everything seemed normal to this point, but never underestimate the power of a high school hallway full of adolescent horn-dogs between classes.

As I did quite often I was eavesdropping on conversations all around me. On this particular day the dialogue in front of me between two young ladies that looked as if they could have come out of the movie, High School High, were having a riveting chat. As I listened closer they were speaking of former guys they have pleasured and how great it was. Usually my abdomen at this point would be churning due to the thick smell of school cafeterias mac and cheese, but not this time. It felt as if there was a Keebler Elf brewing up something real bad due to the vile words coming out of these girls’ mouths.

I listened on. It wasn't thirty seconds later when a ghetto-superstar was walking our way. I was sure that the man hadn't showered in 97 days. The girls gasped as they saw him approaching. There was nothing that could prepare a man like myself for the words that would come out of one of the girls mouth after he passes. Ghetto-baller continued and walked by the girls without a second look. As he passed one of the girls said, and I quote, "That ass-hole gave me the clap!"

I'll never forget it. In the middle of the hall my bottom jaw fell to the floor. As I scraped it off the grimy un-swept floor I put both hands on my head in disbelief. I couldn’t fathom what I had just heard. Did this girl really just say that out loud so I could hear it?

There are so many things that are wrong with this picture. First and foremost the clap is nothing anyone wants to mess with if there's anyone out there that doesn't know exactly what this nastiness of a woman was dealing with I can help. The clap is more formally know as Chlamydia it is a common sexually transmitted disease (STD) caused by the bacterium, Chlamydia Trachomatis, which can damage a woman's reproductive organs. Even though symptoms of Chlamydia are usually mild or absent, serious complications that cause irreversible damage, including infertility, can occur "silently" before a woman ever recognizes a problem. Chlamydia also can cause discharge from the penis of an infected man." (Definition from CDC.com)

Now that we've got that out of the way we can really get a feel of the connotation of the mind cauterizing words that previously came out of her foul and most likely plague-ridden mouth. It has been burned into the depths of my brain and will regrettably never find its way out.

I would like to send my condolences to this young lady. I would also like to send my commiseration to her future boyfriend or husband. I would also like to say to him, don’t clap on... Definitely clap off.